Evan and I were chatting this morning about stereotypes of elderly people, and how Abraham Simpson is perhaps the best example of this in pop culture. We then found this quote of his, a letter he wrote during one episode:
Dear Mr. President,
There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.
It got me to wondering – hmmm, if I were forced to throw three states out of the USA, which ones would I choose? After the previous election, they would, of course, all be red states – red states who panic about national security but don’t give a rat’s ass about large cities. Red states who contribute minimally to our national economy and accept more government assistance than they offer. I could not bring myself to force any state into secession with coastal access either.
I would like to say – we can’t throw any state out, because we are *all* important in our contributions to this great country. But seriously – that’s not really true, is it? After all, there are several states that drive me bonkers – everytime I see them featured on the news I know it will be a story that irritates me. There are always states where no Islamic terrorist would ever dream of visiting, yet those are the states that cling to FoxNews reports about terrorism and homeland security. They criticize “liberals” in New York and “Taxachusetts,” when in reality – those liberals are the ones who should legitimately worry about terrorism, and those liberal states are paying the taxes that write welfare checks for red states. States – and you know who you are – to quote Bill O’Reilly by way of Stephen Colbert (because O’Reilly cannot be directly quoted on this site) – “You’re on notice.”
